As a parent to minor children, you understand that your divorce impacts them as much as it does you. It signals significant upheaval and change as the lives they know break apart.
You probably experience distress and worry seeing them react to the sudden alterations to their situations. After all, as a mother or father who loves your offspring greatly, you want to prevent their struggles and hurt as much as possible. There are some things that may help ease the process for them. There are also certain actions you need to avoid.
1. Assigning blame
Putting fault upon your soon-to-be-ex-spouse serves only to antagonize and alienate your children from a parent they love. This may cause them further pain and hurt your custody case in court. It is also absolutely imperative that you never even imply that your kids may bear some responsibility for the situation as this may permanently psychologically traumatize them.
2. Fighting in front of them
A study from Arizona State University discovered that conflict between splitting parents raises the likelihood of mental and physical issues occurring in children. Arguing with your soon-to-be-former-partner where your kids may hear or see only leads to further harm to them. On the other hand, you maintaining a cordial relationship may comfort them.
3. Dissolving structure
It may be tempting to ease rules. After all, you are under a great deal of strain and stress and so are your children. It takes a considerable amount of energy to enforce rules and you may feel bad about the whole circumstance. However, children need structure and regularity. It helps them to feel normal in a time when normality is scarce.
Being patient with your children and taking steps to minimize the effects of divorce on them may help them cope.
