The end of your marriage may come as a surprise to your adult children. Still, if you have a close relationship with your kids, they should probably know about your divorce. Like young children, adult-aged ones may experience a range of emotions on their way to accepting your decision.
How you tell your children about the end of your marriage may make a difference in their emotional response. Likewise, your timing is likely to matter. Here are three times when you should probably not break the news of your divorce to your kids.
1. When you are angry
If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are not getting along, you may have some built-up anger or resentment. Badmouthing your husband or wife to your kids is not likely to do anyone much good, however. Consequently, if you are feeling angry, it may be better to wait until you cool off before telling your children about your divorce.
2. When you are celebrating
With the holidays quickly approaching, you may have family plans with your spouse and your kids. Using celebratory dinners or other get-togethers to discuss your divorce may bring everyone down. Therefore, rather than using a family event to notify your kids, set aside a separate time.
3. When your divorce becomes final
Even though talking to your adult children about your divorce may make you feel uneasy, you probably should not put the discussion off too long. If you wait until your divorce becomes final, for example, your kids may feel you robbed them of their input or disregarded their emotional well-being.
Ultimately, by picking an optimal time to discuss the end of your marriage with your adult kids, you may avoid damaging the good relationship you have with them.