Some people believe that having a baby could improve their marriage. They may imagine that their mutual love for their newborn could help solidify a declining relationship and improve their dynamic with one another.
However, the opposite often proves true. Having a child is incredibly stressful and expensive. New parents have more reasons than ever before to argue with one another. In fact, it is shockingly common for men to cheat on their wives when they are pregnant, regardless of the distress that their choices might cause. As such, many couples find themselves divorcing during pregnancy or while their children are quite young.
Is it possible for couples to establish effective time-sharing when they must parent infants, or is sole custody all but ensured in such cases?
Circumstances influence the best arrangements
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for time-sharing when parents have young children. Factors including the health of the parents, the number of children in the family and other unique details influence the best arrangements possible.
If the mother breastfeeds, for example, separating her from the infant for more than an hour or two could potentially affect her milk supply. Additionally, parents need to consider an infant’s lack of object permanence. They have a strong bond to their primary caregiver and may not understand that their parent is still there when they are not readily visible.
Frequently, shared custody of newborns begins with regular visitation that slowly increases to out-of-house visitation and then overnight visits. By the time children are old enough to enter preschool or daycare, they may be capable of spending the night away from their primary caregiver or even an entire weekend with the other parent.
Provided that parents can work with one another for the benefit of their children, sharing custody of young children is an achievable goal. Limiting time-sharing when children are young can help ensure that they develop healthy attachments to their primary caregivers, but regular visits are necessary for bonding with the other parent.
Developing a parenting plan that grows with children can help ensure that both parents maintain strong connections with their children, even if they separate while the children are young. Parents often require assistance creating time-sharing arrangements that prioritize the best interests of the children when they divorce or separate, and that’s okay.
